For this week you read a chapter from the Wood text, “Becoming Gendered,” which focuses on the ways in which all of us learn to perform gender. In the Peril text, we learn about the role of advertisements and the popular press in the 1960s in “gendering femininity.” I would like for you to consider the concepts from both texts and list the ways that both males and females have been restricted by “norms and standards.” Be sure to reference both texts in your responses.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
In any era, past or present, parents and outside socialization have a great influence on a developing child. The input they receive is backed up constantly in order for them to achieve the desired image of what is considered the “gender norm.” Wood and Peril explore how gender is instilled in young children so they can retain the socially acceptable role in their future.
ReplyDeleteThe first time a newborn baby is held, immediately the parents differentiate their attributes. Even if both babies are the “same” in activity, their gender treatment is totally different. For boys: “active, strong, hardy”. For girls: “small, dainty, delicate”
At a young age, Woods states, parental communication about gender details how each parent, mother/father, treat each of their gendered children. Both parents do communicate messages about being assertiveness and aggressiveness to both sons and daughters but learn different ways of expressing the attributes. Parents reward their sons with accomplishments in verbal and physical activity while girls are rewarded with achievements in interpersonal and social skills. Fathers and mothers always encourage perceived appropriate gender behaviors. Sons: independence, competitiveness, and aggression. Daughters: emotional expressiveness and gentleness.
As adulthood comes along there is an even greater divide in “norms and standards” for men and women.
ReplyDeleteMen must follow strict “rules” in attaining their title and image as a man in Western society. 1. Don’t be female: by breaking this rule, at any age, results in ostracizing by other males. 2. Be successful: it starts with sports, and then moves on to the work world. Their “worth” is measured in marriage partners, friends, possessions and what they do. 3. Be aggressive: a behavior nurtured and rewarded at a young age. “Fight, defeat others, endure pain stoically, and WIN.” This can lead to violence, especially towards women. 4. Be sexual: men must have a constant interest in sex at any time. Masculinity is measured the number of sexual encounters and partners. Not wanting sex or wanting to remain a virgin till marriage results in loss of masculinity. 5. Be self-reliant: “real men” don’t need others. They are expected to have emotional control and not be controlled by them, and not need others. In boy childhood, adults roguishly work to force out vulnerability, which could damage any chance of achieving independence.
Women have a much higher standard to achieve in this era than any other in history. The idea that women “can have it all” has become a way of life in Western society. 1. Appearance still counts: women are constantly judged by their looks. Maintenance of appearance must be maintained at a high and with that maintenance she can achieve popularity by: wear the right clothes, engage in casual sex, be rich, thin, and sexy. 2. Be sensitive and caring: the pressure for being nice, deferential, and helpful also means they must take care of others, which men are not expected to do. At the most crucial stage of development the main focus is pleasing others. 3. Negative treatment of others: girls are highly critical of other girls whom they deem not pretty, thin, or feminine. Social aggression is used rather than physical aggression to achieve victory. 4. Be superwoman: she must have full family life AND a successful career, a requirement enforced by modern society. 5. No single meaning of feminine anymore: being a successful career women or a stay at home mom has its positive and negative responses from society. Today, women have the choice to define femininity in different ways and chart their own lives.
ReplyDeleteFor young girls, Peril says, when she comes home from the hospital she must immediately be taught “proper” examples from her parents about being a girl before her mind solidifies for good or evil. Good or Evil? “Good” for a girl, as legitimate published texts in the 1960’s, repeatedly state: “new shoes, make up, party dresses dolls, make-believe and kitchens”. Then “evil” meant being a “Boyish Girl”. When it came to being a “tom boy”, all fictional stories published always ended in the boyish girl “realizing” she must be feminine for boys and then men, considered to be the “greatest role” in her life. The main theme in published articles/books/magazines/ect, was that a young girl should choose to be a housewife and deviate from the idea of a career girl. This was encouraged through toys that mimicked mother’s household scenarios and equipment. Toy cleaning sets, manure kitchens, and the Eazy-Bake Oven. Other toys created where to simulate grooming and beautifying techniques for them to achieve their desired femininity that was valued by men and their future husbands. All of these “toys” where produced to “train” young girls for the future that awaited them.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I built a house together. Let me be clear, we physically constructed a significant portion of the house. We installed cabinetry, doors, and trim. We wired outlets, switches, and installed every light in our home. We built cabinets, we cut tile, etc. I am handy and have practical construction experience – I was the son my father never had. My husband is a techie and never worked around the house. I began with a significant edge in experience and confidence. However, as the work progressed, I noticed that I stopped working with the power tools and found myself doing the painting, staining, cleaning, and caulking. He liked using the saws and drills (that I taught him to use) and preferred not to do the mundane tasks, so I backed off and allowed him to do the construction work. He is not a sexist pig, nor have I succumbed to Pink Think – I think.
ReplyDeleteIt occasionally annoys me when I think about it, but for the sake of marital harmony, I have backed off to allow him to succeed or “save” me when I could have done fine by myself. It is to preserve his self-esteem, he already says that I don’t need him. Peril highlights this situation “Lots of times I ask a girl out because she has a way of acting like I’m eight feet tall and strong as a bull (pg. 47). When I was in 5th grade, I was the best at math in my class. Every week we had a speed calculation competition. My closest competitor was a boy on whom I had a crush. After I beat him three weeks in a row, he stopped talking to me. After that I was careful to let him win frequently, and to praise him copiously. I learned a powerful lesson that is still true – some guys like smart girls – just not girls smarter than them.
Growing up a Southern woman, I had very strong unconscious and explicit modeling of proper behavior by the women in my family. While they were all strong, capable, and argumentative women, they never left home without the “faces put on” and clothes and jewelry just right. They ruled the roost but always acceded to their husbands in public. The man always eats first and is offered the best chair. They grill but don’t cook. They mow the yard but don’t wash dishes. The women in my family rarely sat down during dinner, because there was always something else to get for a man or child. The girls were always expected to help in the kitchen during family gatherings while the boys got to play outside (they mention this ex. on pg 163). I was always viewed as the family oddball because I wanted to be outdoors and couldn’t tell the difference between one mascara and another. My family thinks my husband is not masculine because he is a damn Yankee, has never gone hunting, helps with the dishes, and allows me to mow the yard.
I feel like I am saying things that everyone knows. Boys and men police the behavior of other men and boys. Men and boys are rewarded for behaving in stereotypical masculine roles by receiving positive attention from women and the approval of their peers. The same is true for girls and women. And mothers and fathers and relatives reward desired behaviors and punish undesired behaviors. The cost of this strict adherence to gender performance is that many opportunities for expression and achievement are lost by both men and women. Girls don’t play check hockey and boys don’t get to enjoy gardening. Those who buck gender expectations do so at a cost – to their acceptance in society and to their confidence and self-esteem. In Think Pink a research chemist bemoans her career success at the cost of being a “poor female specimen” (pg. 31).
I love my husband, I want him to feel needed and capable, and sometimes that means accepting unneeded help and stroking a fragile ego. Is it cowardly of me to take the easy route of gender performance – to not poke society in the eye – for the sake of getting along with others? What have I lost and what have I gained?
Wood’s discussion on becoming gendered made it clear how many aspects are involved with gender development. Society has formed pretty clear outlines of what masculinity and femininity should look like. Even from a very young age boys and girls are expected to conform to these guidelines of masculinity and femininity. Wood (page 166) referred to studies that showed how parents treat their babies differently according to their sex even within 24 hours after birth. Even at the hospital girls are given pink blankets and boys are given blue blankets. We are all aware of these feminine and masculine stereotypes that exist. Some masculine traits are being self reliant, sexual, aggressive and successful. Feminine traits are appearance, sensitivity and being caring. It is very difficult for a person when their true self does not conform to the stereotyped expectations of society.
ReplyDeletePeril also highlighted the important role of girls’ parents to ensure that their daughters follow the “proper path”. Their daughter needs to be trained to be a proper wife and should avoid the “danger of being a boyish girl”. Even the toys and games that young girls played with encouraged their training for their future role of housewife and mother. For example the child’s cosmetic set (page 41) so that girls can learn that they should always look their best. The housekeeping toys (page 37) help ensure that girls are trained from a young age to acknowledge that they will be responsible for keeping the house clean and tidy for their husbands. This does not encourage a young lady to consider the option of having a career and being independent. She is brought up to be someone’s wife and not an individual.
There are those who say that women are naturally “dainty” and “delicate”, however they do not realize that it is culture and society that has made women and girls become seemingly helpless and dependant. According to the information that Peril provided, books and advice in society in the 50s and 60s, and I’m sure today, advise girls to be dependant because men do not like dependant girls/women. Both Peril and Wood also raise the issue that how a woman looks still counts. If one isn’t pretty, then one will not gain a male companion, it is impossible. Peril mentioned Dahl’s book Always Ask a Man in which she stated that “beauty for beauty’s sake serv(es) no purpose” (Peril 20). Oh no! I must be something wrong! I’ve been dressing fashionably for no reason? I think not.
ReplyDeleteThere are also those who say that men are naturally aggressive and emotionless. They too do not realize that the very fact that they are saying this, shows us how strong of an impact society has had on their minds. As Wood mentions, boys are encouraged and sometimes even forced to be “masculine” from childhood. This means that they should be independent, tough, and not show much care for others. If they are supposed to lock up their emotions, how does society expect them to be in a successful relationship? Both books also mention that it is the man’s job to be the bread winner and the successful one in the household. What happens if his passion is music and that is the only thing he can ever see himself doing? Is he supposed to give up his dreams for a well paying and boring job that makes him miserable every day? Again, I think not.
Society seems to be screwing us over (pardon the language). I wish more people would realize that they do not have to conform to what others think they should be. If they do conform, they will never find true happiness.
The Wood text about becoming "gendered" is very interesting and often very realistic. There is a certain way that parents interact with their children that can force gender norms on them. Wood explains that families influence gender and identity on children. Men are often told not to act "female." This means that boys are told from a young age that showing emotion is considered to be weak and that emotions are thought to be "girly." Boys are taught to be agressive, to like football and contact sports and to even be sexual is considered a male role. Females are often taught by the family to be sensitive and caring within their gender roles.
ReplyDeleteIn the Peril text, advertisements reinforce masculine and feminine gender roles. Pictures of women are shown in the ads that represent women as elegent, dressed in pink dresses, thin, beautiful and charming. "Mystery Date" was the best selling girls game in the 1960s and is the ad shows girls overly excited to see who is at the door to be their date. This represents a dependence on males and to be a wife. "In Training" was facts about life but the ad shows boys running and playing football together. These ads reinforce what it is to be male or female in society. Advertisements today still play an important role in identify men and women in society. It is important to be able to look beyond how ads portray males and females and that it is okay to be a person who identifies outside of "normal" gender roles.
“Most children develop a clear-cut sense of whether they are boys or girls at a young age. This sense of being "a boy" or "a girl" is called gender identity”. As a child grows there are so many different aspects of life that influence them whether it’s their parents or the society that surrounds them, their lives are affected. Growing up I would always hear baby girls wear pink, and boys wear blue. This is still true today, but it wasn’t always the case. Boys used to be just as likely to wear pink as a girl would be in the 19th century. During this time there was a sense of gender colors, parents just dressed their children in what they wanted.
ReplyDeleteSociety forces many aspects of ones development. Boys want to be masculine because that’s what society tells them they should be, while girls will be girlie because that’s the impression they get from society that they should be. While developing children’s family and parents have a huge influence on them. Boys are often told to act manly, and to play with the trucks and monsters not the barbies. While girls are shown that they should be playing with barbies and in the kitchen with mom. Their moms want to make sure that their daughters are going to take the right path in life and be a great mother and wife. You can also be influenced by older siblings or cousins, which can be can make a huge impact because you may look up to them and want to be like them so if they were a tomboy little girl you might be a tomboy little girl and to you it’s ok because your just trying to be like your role model.
*Kristin Philbrick*
Before reading the texts, I had never given much thought to the things I encountered growing up that may have affected my gender. I like to think that I grew up in my own little world without much influence from what was around me. After reading the texts, however, I realize that there were so many influences around me that I had never really thought of. While reading the beginning of Pink Think, I felt that the examples Peril was giving were more relevant to the 50’s and 60’s. The further I read, however, I started to realize that a lot of these influences are still present around us today. Peril reminded me of the toys I played with as a child. One of my favorite things was to play kitchen and my dream had always been to have an Easy Bake Oven. I also adored Barbie dolls and playing dress up and wearing make up.
ReplyDeleteAll of these things influence me greatly growing up, but I don’t consider myself to be very feminine either. After reading the both texts, I also started to question whether I really understood what femininity or masculinity are. I have always thought that I had both feminine and masculine traits. I can be a tomboy one moment, and enjoy shopping or getting my hair done another. But this also makes me realize that those are things that both males and females can do, without necessarily being considered feminine or masculine. I think I will be a lot more careful about using those words because we can all have different interpretations.
The part that most appealed to me about Woods text regarding how I believe I developed my gender was the section on “Parental Communication About Gender”. I think my parents had a huge influence on how I developed my gender. Even though I was very drawn to objects that were attributed to girls such as dolls and makeup, I also picked up a lot of masculine traits, if they can be called masculine. My mother was not very feminine when I was growing up. She loved sports, being outdoors, not wearing a lot of makeup, and acting slightly masculine sometimes. I grew up watching her at Tae Kwon Do competitions where she could take on men and women twice her size.
I also picked up a lot of “masculine” traits from my father because he was also very physically active. My father also instilled in me a sense of independence and a drive for intellectual success. On page 168, Woods began to talk about fathers, “Fathers tend to encourage children’s initiative, achievement, and independence, often in relation to an activity that is the focus of interaction”. She also explains that this affects a child’s self esteem and their abilities, accomplishments, and goals. This could not be truer for me. I was the first-born and my dad unintentionally imposed a very patriarchal-like role on me. He always tried to make me tough, determined, and taught me to never quit. I thank him for strengthening my self-esteem and teaching me to pursue my goals and only yield to success, however this also had negative impacts. As a perfectionist, my father was very strict about every single aspect about my life. He taught me to try to be better at anything I did, but it also caused me to burn out during my teenage years. He also demanded that I be emotionally tough, he did not like when I was “weak” and cried or complained. This caused a lot of stress for me growing up, but I eventually learned that I could learn from everything that my parents had taught me, whether it was positive or negative.
Combining what I learned from both texts, I definitely believe that my surroundings created by society such as advertisements and toys directed towards girls helped develop the more feminine side of my gender. I also believe that I learned from my parents to be masculine, strong, tough, and determined. I don’t consider myself to be either very masculine, or very feminine; I think I have achieved a balance as far as how I view my gender.
-Nadia Quiroga
Chapter seven in the Wood text enlightened me to the struggles that males face as a result of the standards that society sets in relation to masculinity. As a female, I’m more aware of the restrictions that society places on my own gender, and I’ve always thought having “femininity” attached to my gender was more of a burden than “masculinity” could be. Through this and other readings in the class, I’m starting to understand the ways in which males are negatively impacted by the gender binary.
ReplyDeleteWoods talks about how gender socialization is more rigid for males and how males are more intensely pushed to be masculine than females are to be feminine. I’ve never considered the pressures males face in conforming to their gender roles in contrast with my own. I now see how masculinity among females is more acceptable in society than femininity is among males. The first of six themes of manhood in America today that the chapter identifies is “Don’t be female.” I think today, society allows a much more flexible and liberal approach to gender expression for females than for males.
I found it somewhat difficult to identify with the first chapters of Pink Think. Although I’ve heard similar stories of female oppression many times before, the idea of living in a culture as demeaning to females as Peril describes still seems so surreal to me. It’s amazing to see how much society has transformed its gender norms and standards in just fifty years, and that observation makes me hopeful that the injustices still in place in our society today will be abandoned.
-Maryann Glascock
“Nice girls don’t get dirty”. Well if that is true then no one has stepped foot into the house I grew up in. My dad is one of the many fathers who came home from the hospital holding a baby girl; unfortunately for him, the second time he went to the hospital he would again come home holding a baby girl. He lived in a household with three girls all having very loud personalities and realizing the fact that he would never have a son to raise, he decided to teach my sister and I all about cars, boats and mowing the lawn. Growing up I was probably the only girl in my neighborhood who knew how to change a tire or fill up our large speed boat with gasoline; however, I was probably one of the only girls ever to do all this wearing a dress. I was a nice girl, my hair was always neat, I always had on nice dresses and shoes to match and I was always getting them dirty. So, while society was telling me to play nice and stay neat and proper I always struggled with that fact that I wanted to do all those things and help my dad change the oil in our old car; I was always looking to find a happy medium.
ReplyDeleteIt is extremely difficult for boys and girls to feel equal when they are treated differently each and every day. Boys are given trucks and Legos and allowed to go off and play. Girls are given dolls and kitchen sets and told to stay close so someone could keep an eye on them. There is a stereotype given to girls and to boys and parents and the children feel as if they need to stay inside that box. Yes, I do feel that biology does have an impact on the way girls and boys act; however, one of the main ways that a person becomes gendered is through the actions of their parents. Wood discusses that parents reward their daughters for being polite and helpful while boys are rewarded for being independent and competitive. Much of what children learn at a young age is what their parents teach them, so when a parent puts such harsh constrictions on gender the child then learns that this is the right and only way to behave. I have two three year old cousins, one is a girl and one is a boy. The girl’s room is pink and girly with shelves full of dolls and butterflies on the wall. The boy’s room is red and blue with all different types of transportation painted on the wall; instead of shelves full of dolls he has shelves full of Tonka Trucks and Thomas the Tank Engines. As a result of this early exposure to all things girly and all things manly, both children will grow up being expected to behave in two completely different ways.
In the Peril text, the role of the media seems to largely influence the behavior of both boys and girls. Magazine advertisements show young girls putting on makeup with their mother or playing with their Labrador puppy. In contrast the ads for young boys show them playing football with other boys, fishing with their fathers and being rough and aggressive. It becomes difficult for a child to grow into their own person because society has strictly laid out the path in which one needs to follow.
It is overwhelming to think about all the ways our societies norms and standards have restricted and constricted male and female identities and behaviors over the past century. The social learning theory and gender socialization theory Wood describes make it quite clear that society and culture have developed strict boundries and methods of development for children into womenhood and manhood.
ReplyDeleteThrough communication from parents and community, children learn from an early age what kind of gender appropriate behavior is valued and praised, such as girls being praised for being polite and pretty, and boys being encouraged to be play tough and never cry. These ideas have greatly restricted males and females from a fluid gender path that we have talked about in class. Man face years of identity construction of what it means to be a man and breaking down those sterotypes and expectations is a lot of work.
The best example that came to my mind when reading this chapter is how the relationship between a father and his daughter is significantly restricted beucase of these construcing social norms. It is not appropriate for a father to confort his daughter on personal or emotional issues or show weakness or struggle. THis is a key breakdown and different in relationships that fathers have with their daughters compared with the relationship and mother has with her daughter, where communication and understanding it more fluid.
I also beleive that women are more resricted in terms of their gender identities and expectations by the standards of soceity. Wood states that when growing up socially constructed "femine" identity, appearnce is very important, women must be caring and gentle, accept and adapt to negative treatment soley becuase of gender, and on top of it all, be superwomen and do everything.
I particuarly agree with Wood's last point, that women are expected to do everything and have "it all". I feel this same pressue in my family and my school and work community. Women are expected to be successful, involved in outside organizations or committments, as well as have a strong family connection and maintain a long term relationship. It seems more acceptable and valued if man succeeds at just his career, or just his school performance, that alone makes his "superman".
Peril introduces a novel term and concept called "Pink Think" to describe how media in America has conditioned women to beleive and conform to a strickly defined relm of "femininity". Peril gives examples of how all outlets of media and societal culture advertise what it means to be "feminine" and to be a women, and parents had no choice but to raise their daughters along these constructs. This significantly restricts women from exploring their own identity and creating what it means to be a "women" for themselves.