Becoming Gendered: The Early Years

Already before a child has even come into the world it is restricted by the “norms and standards” of society. For instance, Chapter 7 refers to how after a baby is born they are wrapped in a pink or blue blanket; pink implying it’s a baby girl and blue implying it’s a baby boy. The flaw is that these colors although they are simply colors in our society are recognized as feminine and masculine, yet, they identify the gender of a newborn. Later on in a child’s life toys bought by a child’s parent determine gender and identity as well. Toys such as, baby dolls, Barbie’s, and any toy with pink imply a girl to be “girly”, and boys have toys like trucks, sports balls, G.I. Joes and toys with black and blue in them and they are toys for little boys. Later on in the text the author talks about the subconscious technique of monitoring, “ we remind ourselves what others have told us we are supposed to think, to do, look like, and feel…especially what is appropriate for our age, sex and so forth.” This monitoring process is just like an internal dialogue, where a child may want to do something and want to ask to do something out of the norm and standard, but knows that it is wrong because of the ideas his/her parents and society has instilled in them.
Along with the monitoring idea is the idea presented in Chapter 2 of children learning gender roles through a process of receiving rewards and punishments for various behaviors. This process for most girls includes rewards for actions that are cooperative, helpful, nurturing, and all the qualities consistent with social views of femininity. Boys get rewards for behaviors that are aggressive, competitive, independent, and assertive, as well as all the “accepted” masculine qualities. This type of parenting is flawed not only in restricting ‘norms and standards” but in all other aspects. The main aspect is in the message given in the reward and punishment system. This system creates the norms and standards idea in children already at such a young age. It gives children the idea of what their parents and their society defines as masculine and feminine. But the biggest flaw in this system as well as other techniques is in the restriction of “norms and standards.” Because of parents and societies actions in certain types of parenting and shaping, children don’t get to experience and understand life for themselves. Don’t get to decide who they are, what they are, what they want to look like, act like and do. “Norms and standards” are simply defined as what is expected of and accepted of a gender. But who defines the expectations and acceptance of a person and a group of people other than the people who surround us and our society.

Chelsea Gamble